


I Know You Do Too

by smartbuckley



Series: Buddie Codas [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Christopher Diaz - Freeform, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, eddie diaz - Freeform, mentions of:, post 3x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 10:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20946974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartbuckley/pseuds/smartbuckley
Summary: Buck comes to a realization when Eddie comes by and Buck -- Buck doesn't know what to do with that realization.





	I Know You Do Too

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Okay, wow. I wasn't expecting _this_ to be my first 9-1-1 or Buddie fanfiction but episode three of season three literally confirmed this ship was endgame for me and well, I needed to write out my thoughts. And there's some mention of Buck's parents being shitty, but not a lot, lol.

"But I love him enough to never stop trying. And I know you do too," Buck hears and something stops inside of his chest as he looks up at Eddie out of the corner of his eye. His heart is pounding and his palms are sweating (weak knees, arms are heavy), and all he wants to do is step even possibly closer to the other man, and that thought alone scares the hell out of Buck. Not because of some sexual identity crisis, no -- that's not possible when he's known he's been bisexual since he was a teenager, his parents kicking him out shortly after -- but because this is his best friend. He can't lose his best friend, he can't even begin to ponder it. Eddie and Christopher -- they're his family, especially ever since he started his physical therapy. With Eddie always there for him, and Christopher always there to cheer him up. Those two helped him so much, through nightmares and stages of depression. Without them, he has no idea where he would be. No idea who he would be. And any sort of feeling he has felt for Eddie during that time, he has shut down because he cannot lose his best friend. Doesn't want to lose him, not at all. So he didn't _let_ himself begin to even think like that, choosing to focus on something else completely.

But now -- now, Eddie's hand is on his shoulder, and he's looking into his eyes, so god damn open and Buck can feel himself absolutely breaking. He drops his mouth open only slightly, trying so hard not to burst into tears. His heart continues to pound inside of his chest and his eyes roam the entire open area of his apartment, briefly catching on Christopher before he looks back towards Eddie.

"And I know you do too," rings through Buck's ears, and Buck... he feels like what he imagines someone else would feel when they realize just what they're missing, or seeing, or anything similar. He wants to say 'oh', wants to... shit, he wants to lean forward and kiss Eddie, and he knows that he's in deep now, especially when what Eddie says next finally registers, his mouth dropping open once more as he completely looks at the other man, watching him walk away. The fact that Eddie trusts him still, so damn much -- Buck feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest, wonders how Eddie never heard it from where he was standing. He watches the man say goodbye to his son, watches as he leaves and all Buck can think is _oh_, because it hurts so much -- so god damn much. Eddie trusts him, even after everything. All he can think about is how he lost Christopher, how he looked away for less than a minute, and lost him, and how could Eddie trust him after that, but he _does_, and even though he's terrified, and everything about this is terrifying, Eddie has left, has said he trusts him with Christopher more than anyone else and that....

"I love him," he whispers, thankful that at least, Eddie is gone, but Christopher turns towards him and absolutely blinds him with the grin that appears on his face and Buck knows, he absolutely knows, that the little dude has heard him. He doesn't mind though, not one bit, because Christopher, he can admit, is like a son to him. The tsunami taught him that, made him realize just how much he loved Christopher. And now... now he knows just how much he loves Eddie. And he's scared, more scared than he's ever been in his life, but it's something he can handle, he knows. He makes his way to the young boy, sitting on the couch and asking him what he wants to do, feeling something relax in him as he allows himself to get comfortable around Christopher. He hasn't seen Chris since the night of the tsunami, too guilty and wrecked with feeling like he wasn't good enough, but now... now he knows better.

He doesn't know how much time has passed while he's been watching movies with Christopher, his mind too focused on the fact that he _loves_ Eddie. He's in love with the other man, that distinction huge, and he can only wonder where he goes from here. Does he tell Eddie, possibly ruining their friendship? Or does he keep it hidden? Sucking back a deep breath, Buck looks towards Christopher and, seeing how deeply invested he is in the film, takes his phone out and texts the one person he knows will help.

_Hey Mads, I need advice. Just realized I'm kinda head over heels in love with Eddie and I don't know if I should tell him? _He eventually texts, his right leg shaking up and down as he slowly becomes anxious. He feels like his sister isn't going to reply back anytime soon, and almost begins to relax before his phone vibrates against his thigh and he looks at it, blowing out the breath he was holding.

_You're just realizing this now? Buck, how... almost everyone knows you two are completely smitten for one another, so how are you just.... okay, not the point. Tell him. It's mutual. You would be blind to not be able to see just how mutual it is. Or well, you. Because it is mutual, trust me on that, okay? I'm your older sister for a reason. I know these things. So trust me. And Christopher would love it. Don't worry about anything your insecurities are telling you, okay Evs? You've got this_, he reads and somehow, he's become completely relaxed, a small smile on his face. He knew there was a reason why he went to his sister, knew she would calm him and tell him exactly what he needed to hear -- or, read, in this instance. And without a single though, he focuses on the movie Christopher has on, planning to tell Eddie later. Planning to do something with the realization he came to earlier. After-all, he is a man of action. And this, after everything he's been through, isn't something he can sit back on.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave me prompts on my tumblr, [laumeidelfin](https://laumeidelfin.tumblr.com)


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